Wednesday, February 19, 2014

My life as a Cosplayer in the midwest.

I mean no harm or threat to this article. I would just like to write about my feelings and what I have experienced, to teach others or to find common ground with people.

I started cosplaying in 2007. Very new to this time of things. Its funny how I found out about cosplaying. I woke up one night, with a tummy ache and decided to turn on the TV to get my mind off of it. It was around 4 am and the TV turned on to Adult Swim. There was a show called Inuyasha, and I was hooked. I knew what Sailor Moon was, but I didn't know there was other shows that expanded. So, I did research and I found a picture of a guy cosplaying Inuyasha, and let me say, I was shocked. I didn't find it weird or anything, I was just surprised that I'm looking AT inuyasha. Let me remind you, I was like 15. So to me, cosplay, at that time, was you being the character himself. So, I decided to make my own cosplay. I started to watch more of this 'anime', and I got hooked on Code Geass. And things went from there. Made my very first cosplay, my mom helped me out, found there was a thing called a 'convention', and thats that.

My first convention was Anime Central 2008. Let me tell you, I was in love with this environment. Everyone was so nice and cheery. I met a lot of new friends that day. It was a new way of life. I felt so happy and like I was someone else. You get the drill.

Years past, and I started making my cosplays more and more. I started having my pictures taken from random people. I made a bunch of friends. (Acen group) Everyone was so nice and loving. No one was mean and no one argued or talked bad about each other. Thats all I hear now in 2014. People fight about 'hey thats my cosplay you can't do it' when 5 years ago, people did it before you. Or "I don't like her because she takes pictures." Like really?

As I got older, I became better at makeup. I started wearing color contacts and the whole drill. I stayed up nights and days, making cosplays, going to school and working. I was so happy.

To me, cosplay is about having fun and bringing the character to life in YOUR own way. To make it come to life in what YOU see it is. So there is no winning, there is just your interpretation on that character. Thats what makes it so fun.

Flashback, when I started cosplaying young, I started to learn dances from the Otaku world. In no way was my mindset, 'oh hey time to be famous'. When your 15 you don't think that way at all. I learned silly goofy dances I saw at cons, and I recorded them on youtube. After a few months, my channel skyrocketed. Why? I have no idea. I loved talking to people, getting feedback, and just having funs. Everyone was doing it, why couldn't I?

As the years went by, I started to get I guess "recongized" by my cosplays. Yeah sure that was fun and all, but I still wanted to do it for fun and to this day I still do. I was shy and timid, but I really wanted to make friends. Went out of state for cons, started to get recongized at cons, and even finally for years found a boyfriend.

But, a couple of years back, my cosplay broke. Some of my videos became flagged and removed from youtube. Mostly cosplay videos. I got anon hate everyday on tumblr and facebook. Death threats. Everything. For a year, I shut down. I didn't really cosplay, and when I went to cons, I was so nervous. Turning at every corner, something bad could have happened. My grades fell back and I lost my job. I was a total mess. The people that supported me now hated me. My friends. Complete strangers. Why? To this day, I don't even know. Alot more has happened, but I'd rather keep it to myself.

I can't people can even do this to another person. The cosplay community of the Midwest changed so much. I am scared to even be part of it, I don't want to. Poor little children watch this and hear this, and they start acting like this at such at young age, its disgusting. When was cospplay about fam and glory? I mean if you get a gig as a model then go for it! Who's stopping you? If you want to get up to that point, then work hard! Anyone and everyone can do it, so what's stopping you?

In Nov, my boyfriend took me to Japan for the first time ever. It was the best vaction ever. A lot of people were happy for me when another half wish I never went. If you want to go to a place, work hard and you can get there! What is bashing on someone going to do?

Yesterday, My boyfriend uploaded a video on his youtube. He is the CEO of his own company, and I support him fully. The video was a series he wants to start with. It was Cosplay Profile, where he shoots you in different angles, to showcase your cosplay, BUT have the video personality as the character. Very artistic. He has a bachelors in Film production from Columbia College, so this is something he has been wanting to do. Of course, I was his first subject. (haha I had no part in this, this was all him.) It came out very nicely and he was so excited to be shooting with others as well. But the happiness stops there. 2 hours after the video was posted, it was in the red zone, meaning there were a lot of dislikes, even though the comments were very nice. You can't please everyone right? But then I started to think, this is exactly what happened to me when I posted cosplay videos of myself. I warned my boyfriend and apologized. This afternoon, I was told that the video was blocked because someone flagged it for nudity and sexual impressions. What? I was NOT nude in that video at all. You saw NOTHING. Yet, I see porn videos on youtube that have not been taken down but his video is?

I want my boyfriend to express himself as an artist but I am not letting these 'haters' to ruin it for him because of me. I don't it is fair. Why has the community turned this way? When will cosplay be happy? When will cosplay be about making friends? When will cosplay be about having fun? Finding love?

Honestly, I am scared of getting married. How much hate I will get from that.

Please, let people be people and have fun. Stop trying to ruin peoples' lives and lead them in a dark path. Maybe if enough people realize it, we can be happy again.

Sorry Midwest Cosplayers.